Is there a safe time of the month to have sex and not get pregnant or a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?
No! There are certain times during the month that you are MORE likely to get pregnant but, it’s possible to get pregnant at any time. It’s even possible during your period. The same goes for STIs. It’s possible to get an STI all month long.
The only way to absolutely prevent pregnancy is to abstain from (avoid) vaginal sex (placing the man’s penis in the woman’s vagina) or allow ejaculate (cum) near the outside of the vagina. You can reduce the risk of pregnancy by using birth control and condoms.
The only way to absolutely prevent STIs is to abstain from (avoid) oral, anal or vaginal intercourse and sharing needles. If you choose to have intercourse you can reduce the risk of most STIs by using barrier methods like condoms and dental dams.
Can I go to the gynecologist without my parents knowing?
Doctors and health care providers are required to provide confidential visits about sexual health. However, if you use your parent’s health insurance it is possible they might get a bill (listing the services, test or treatments that were provided). If you are concerned about this it’s important to call and discuss this with your health care provider before your appointment. Click here to find a list of providers. (link to map)
Family Planning Waiver: In Wisconsin If you are 15 years or older and qualify you can go to the doctor for a confidential (and discounted or free!) visit to discuss pregnancy prevention or for evaluation and treatment of STDs. See if you qualify.
It’s a good idea to try to talk to your parents about questions and concerns about sex and your body. They might be able to help you make the best decisions about birth control and protecting yourself. If you end up having a problem like an STI or pregnancy you will need their support. Read “Talking to your parents about birth control”
Can HIV and other sexually transmitted infections pass through condoms?
Having oral sex, vaginal or anal intercourse with a latex condom or dental dam is considered low risk for getting HIV if used properly. On the other hand, having vaginal or anal intercourse without a condom increases the risk of HIV infection. In fact, according to the CDC, at the end of 2003, an estimated 1,039,000 to 1,185,000 persons in the United States were living with HIV/AIDS, with 24-27% undiagnosed and unaware of their HIV infection.
Condoms don’t always protect against genital herpes, warts (or HPV), or pubic lice. link to STIs. These STIs can be spread by the skin that isn’t covered by the condom, not by passing through it.
Condoms protect again other STIs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomonas and bacterial vaginosis (and pregnancy!) but MUST be used correctly and every time. link to birth control section. The only way to 100% prevent STIs and HIV is to abstain (avoid) sexual contact. If used correctly, a latex condom or dental dams (oral sex) can significantly decrease the risk.
Where do I get condoms or birth control?
You can buy condoms from any drug store. There are multiple choices of birth control available but you must visit a health care provider and get a prescription for may of them. Find the nearest clinic.
What is emergency contraception? Where can I get it?
Emergency contraception (EC), also known as the "morning-after pill" or Plan B, is a way to prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex, a broken condom or slipped diaphragm. It is NOT the “abortion pill” and will not affect a well established pregnancy.
EC helps prevent pregnancy. Pregnancy begins when a fertilized egg (joined egg and sperm) implants itself in the lining of the uterus. EC prevents the egg from joining with the sperm and can prevent the release of an egg from the ovary . Theoretically, EC could also prevent implantation of a fertilized egg, but that has not been proven scientifically.
EC can reduce the risk of pregnancy if started within 5 days of unprotected sex. It is more effective the sooner it is taken after sex. Because it’s hard to predict when unprotected sex or a broken condom might happen you need to have EC in the house BEFORE it happens. Plan B, a brand of EC, is available over the counter at many pharmacies for women over 18. Teens under 18 can still access EC with a prescription.
If you are a woman between the ages 15-55, a legal US resident who lives in Wisconsin and meet the minimum income eligibility you can sign up for the Family Planning Waiver and receive free STI testing, PAP smears and discounted or free birth control including EC. You may even be able to have EC sent to you in the mail for free. Call 1-866-ECFIRST or go here.
How do I know if I have a sexually transmitted infection (STI)? When should I get tested for an STI?
Many people who have STIs do NOT have symptoms!! If you have sex you are at risk for STIs. If you have symptoms you might notice any of the following:
o sores, bumps, or blisters near your mouth, rectum or sex organs
o burning or pain when you urinate (pee)
o discharge (fluid) from your penis or vagina
o itching around your sex organs
o flu-like feelings with fever and chills
o women may have bleeding in between her regular period
If you have any of these symptoms, STOP HAVING SEX. Go to an STI clinic or your health care provider to be tested. Click here to find one.
Even if you don’t have symptoms but are having sex you should be checked at least every year. You should also get checked after you’ve (or your partner) had unprotected sex with the new partner.
An STI will not go away without treatment. If not treated some STIs can cause you to not be able to have babies in the future or cause you to be seriously ill. You can continue to pass the STI to other people without being treated. If you have been treated for Chlamydia, you should be rechecked in 3 months to make sure you have not been reinfected
How do I avoid getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?
You can get certain types of STIs (link) like gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, trichomonas and HIV/AIDS by having vaginal intercourse with someone who has the STI. You can get HIV/AIDS or Hepatitis B by sharing needles. Certain STIs like herpes can be transmitted by unprotected anal and oral intercourse. Sometimes the person who has the STI doesn’t have symptoms so they don’t know they have it.
The only sure way to prevent STIs is to abstain from (avoid) intercourse and sharing needles. You can reduce the risk of most STI (link to STIs) by using barrier methods like condoms and dental dams. It is best if a new partner is tested for STIs before you choose to have oral, anal or vaginal intercourse.
Do I need a condom if I’m on the pill or Depo shot?
YES! The hormonal birth control pill and the Depo shot can prevent pregnancy but DO NOT protect you against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You must still use a “barrier method” like a latex condom, female condom, or dental dam (oral sex) to prevent STIs. link to birth control & STIs
Can I get pregnant if he pulls out?
YES!. Most of the sperm comes out of the penis with ejaculation (cumming). All men have leaking of pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) when the penis is erect (hard) during sex. The pre-ejaculate contains sperm and can cause pregnancy. Men can’t tell when it is coming out and therefore can’t “pull out”. Pulling out is NOT a good way to prevent pregnancy. Abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy. If you choose to have sex, birth control and condoms reduce the risk of pregnancy.
Pulling out also doesn’t protect you against sexually transmitted disease. You must use a “barrier method” like a latex condom or female condom.
What is abstinence?
To abstain means to “choose not to do”. Some people decide to abstain from drinking which means they don’t drink alcohol.
When it comes to sex, abstinence means different things to different people, groups, organizations and cultures. To many people it means to not have penile/vaginal intercourse which could result in pregnancy.
For some, sexual abstinence means avoiding all types of sexual activities. Abstinence from penile/vaginal intercourse is the only way to 100% prevent pregnancy and abstinence from all sexual activity is the only way to 100% prevent sexually transmitted infections. Birth control can significantly reduce the chance of pregnancy Link to BC and condoms can prevent many types of STIs link to STIs if you choose to have oral, anal or vaginal intercourse.
What do I do if the condom broke?
If the condom broke during sex consider emergency contraception (EC) to prevent pregnancy. Even if he didn’t ejaculate (cum) before it broke it is still possible to become pregnant. EC is more effective the sooner it is used after sex (preferably within 12 hours) but can be used up to 5 days after. Since you can’t predict when this might happen it is important to have EC on hand. Call 1-866-ECFIRST or go to a healthcare provider. If you are 18 and older you can purchase EC without a prescription at your local pharmacy.
You should also consider being tested for sexually transmitted infection, especially if this is a new partner or if your or your partner have had a new partner since the last time you were tested.
Can I get pregnant from anal intercourse? What are the risks?
It’s not possible to become pregnant from anal sex (inserting the penis into the anus). However, pregnancy can happen when ejaculate or pre-ejaculate (cum or pre-cum) gets in or near the vagina.
There is still a high risk for many STIs like gonorrhea, HIV, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and hepatitis (link to STIs) with unprotected anal intercourse. You need to use condoms with water based lubricants, like K-Y Jelly, to avoid ripping of the condom. There are also natural bacteria that live in the rectum that can be dangerous if placed into the mouth or vagina. Your condom needs to be changed or penis washed between anal and oral or vaginal intercourse.
Anal sex can hurt and cause tearing of the rectum if partners aren’t careful. It is important to use a water-based lubricant, like K-Y jelly or Astroglide on the condom since the rectum doesn’t make its own lubricant. Partners must talk to each other and stop if it hurts.
Is it possible to have a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and not have any visible symptoms? If so, how can I know if my partner is infected?
Yes. In fact many people will not have symptoms. The only way to know for sure is to be tested. If you have a new partner you both should be tested before you decide to have sex. You should be tested if you or your current partner have had unprotected sex with a new partner since your last test, if you experiencing symptoms of an STI (link), or at least yearly once sexually active. Use condoms to prevent STIs.
What is a urinary tract infection (UTI) and how is it different from a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?
A urinary tract infection (UTI) is an infection of the organs involved in making and holding urine (pee). A sexually transmitted infection (STI) affects the reproductive organs like the penis, vagina cervix, and uterus. Most types of bacteria that cause UTIs are different from the ones that cause STIs. Unfortunately the symptoms of UTIs can be similar to symptoms of STIs. Symptoms can include: lower belly or lower back pain, pain or burning with peeing, fever, nausea and frequently needing to pee. If you have had sex and you are having any of the above symptoms it is impossible for you to tell if it is a UTI or STI. You need to see a doctor or healthcare provider.
My boyfriend is older than me. Can we get in trouble?
It is illegal for someone older than 18 to have sex with someone younger than 18. If your parents, teachers or police find out and press charges, your boyfriend can get in trouble for “statutory rape”. The penalties get much more serious as the age gap widens. Hundreds of older men go to jail every year for having sex with younger women.
A lot of young women have older boyfriends because it’s cool and a ticket to more popularity. Older guys may be more mature, more experienced, and able to drive, but they also have more expectations. That means more pressure about a lot of things, including sex. In fact, girls who date older guys are much more likely to have unintended pregnancies than those who date guys their own age. Even if a guy tries to put the pressure on, a girl should only do what she's comfortable with. Whether he’s the same age or older, no means no.