Good sex needs consent. Consent is getting a clear 'yes' message from your partner about doing sexual stuff. Getting consent makes it better because both you and your partner agree on what you will be doing sexually. It’s also against the law to have sex without consent. Having sex without consent or forcing someone to have sex is called rape.
Age of Consent
In the eyes of the law, teenagers of certain ages cannot consent or agree to sex until they reach a specific age. This is called the “age of consent.” These laws are meant to protect minors from being manipulated or forced into sex with older people.
What is Consent?
When it comes to sexual activity and sex, you have the right to decide when you do it, where you do it, and how you do it. For any sexual activity to happen, both people need to consent, or say yes, willingly and freely. Otherwise it’s considered assault or rape. Sexual activity does not just mean sex, it includes kissing, hugging, making out, cuddling, touching someone’s bum or any other part of their body.
So, how do you know if someone wants to make out or have sex? You have to ask! For example, if you want to kiss someone, you have to ask, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” and they would have to say “YES!” before any kissing happens.
Anything other than YES, means NO.
How do you get consent?
The three basic steps to consent are:
- Ask: Think about what you are ok with doing sexually. Ask your partner what they want to do sexually. The question can be as simple as “...so what do you want to do?” or “are you ok with this?”
- Listen: Be aware of yes and no messages. These might be verbal messages with a clear yes or a clear no. It may also be some nonverbal messages too. For example if who you are with says “maybe” but is backing away and not making eye contact, they may not actually be comfortable with the situation.
- Respect: Know that you might not always get the answer you want to hear. You might really want to do something but who you’re with may not. It is important that you respect both your own and your partner’s boundaries. Respect others feelings, and do not pressure anyone into doing something they don’t want to do.
© Copyright 2010 Rape Prevention Education
Sex Without Consent
Consent can not be given if:
- A person is drunk, high or under the influence of any kind of drug.
- A person says no
- A person doesn’t say anything. Silence does not mean yes!
- A person is verbally or emotionally threatened to say yes with coments like “I thought you loved me” or “Ill break up with you if we don’t have sex"
With any of the above situations, consent in not really there. It is illegal to have sex without consent from your partner. If someone has sex without consent they could be arrested. Sex without consent is wrong becuase it does not repsect your partner or yourself.